Jump in the car with me. Let’s go for a drive.
Ok, so imagine you and I are driving down the road. We get onto the freeway and we start cruising. Maybe we’re listening to the radio. Maybe you’re looking outside.
The freeway begins to get a little more congested. People are changing lanes and brake lights begin to blare red in front of us, and I casually say something like this:
“I don't know why people make such a big deal about learning how to drive... This is my first time behind the wheel and so far, I've only mixed up the pedals twice!"
Because this is my
I don’t have my license! In fact, I don’t know the rules of the road or which pedal is which!
I’m just making it up as I go!
Why would you get in the car with someone like that?!
(probably because in this case, you didn't know... but anyway...)
I just put us both at risk of injury, and harm because I didn’t have the proper training – I had no clue what I was doing!
Now, think about it this way: we require drivers ed before we get behind the wheel of a car... but we're supposed to just "know" how to be happily married to a person... forever?
We all need some training. Everyone. How can you know what to do if you've never been taught?
This is why it’s always so startling to me how many people are thrust into marriage, the pinnacle of our intimate relationships, without any preparation, education, or knowledge!
As a newlywed myself, I remember on more than one occasion feeling lost, and confused. Honestly, there was a time where I was desperate, and nearly considered googling something like “how to wife”, “wifehood for dummies”, “I’m married… now what?”, or “expectations husbands have for their wives”. (Ok, actually… I’m pretty sure I did google one of those. But I’ll let you guess as to which.)
My point is this:
You wouldn’t go out on the road without knowing how to drive a car, because that’s dangerous.
That's how people get hurt.
...so why would you get married without first having some basic relationship education?
After all, your marriage will be the single most significant predictor of your mental, emotional, and economic well-being during your life. So hey, you might as well set yourself up for success as much as you can!
Now, you might be thinking, “we get along well enough... I’m sure we can just wing it!”
And to that I’d say "Please don't gamble with your marriage".
Your marriage is sacred, and deserves your time, attention, and investment. Winging it is fine, and believe me, there will be PLENTY of opportunities for you to "wing it" in your marriage… but this is important.
That's why you deserve some relationship education.
You deserve the tools. You deserve the knowledge. You shouldn't have to use trial and error for everything, and you shouldn't have to be completely in the dark when it comes to real strategies to make your marriage stronger.
You deserve to have the knowledge and skills that will build up your marriage, instead of tear it down.
As it says in Proverbs 14:1
"A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands."
Don't you want to be that kind of a wife? One that builds up her home and her marriage?
If so, join me. And we can learn together. Because guess what? I'm not done yet. God is still growing me, too.
So let's do this.
Let's learn how to build our homes, and care for our marriages.
Let's throw out the expectation that you should just "know" how to be married.
Let's undo the shame associated with asking for advice and seeking marital support.
Because this ISN'T something they teach you in school.
But it IS important.
And it's a passion of mine.
I really do believe you deserve to have the tools you need to make your marriage succeed. That's why I started this blog.
And that's why I'm working on putting together an online course.
Because you DESERVE it. You deserve all the knowledge you can get!
So tell me, what is it you'd like to learn?
What parts of your relationship cause you the most heartache/stress/frustration?
What would you like to get better at?
If you were to get married tomorrow, what relationship advice would you want today?
How can I put my knowledge to work for you?