Resources and Recommendations
Quick Start Guide to Understanding Yourself and Your Partner
A crash-course in understanding personality types, this Quick Start Guide was designed to give you a glimpse into how God has created you, and how your personality may affect your relationships. Identify your partner's personality type, and learn more about them, too! Jam-packed full of information, I hope this Quick start Guide will be a great first step to building empathy and understanding in your relationship.
links to one of the highest regarded personality assessments
a step-by-step guide to understanding and interpreting your personality type
Tools to help you identify your personality temperament
An introduction to each individual temperament (with information on how they approach relationships)
Discussion questions, and next steps you can take by yourself or with your partner.
Please Understand Me II
My husband and I started our premarital counseling by learning one another's personality types, and THIS is the book we used to do it. To this day he calls it the "best thing he learned" during premarital counseling, and he recommends this book to nearly everyone! If you want to learn more about your individual personality type and what makes you unique, (including a whole section devoted to EACH specific MBTI type, and how each temperament approaches relationships and parenting) THIS is the book for you. It's a wealth of information!
A great next step after the Quick Start Guide!
The Sacred Romance & Captivating
John Eldredge & Brent Curtis, John & Staci Eldredge
Yep! Two books here. The reason I've put them together is because these two books are my favorite books of all time, besides the Bible. I kid you not, I actually buy extra copies of these when I find them at second hand stores because I want to GIVE THEM AWAY. These books resonated so deeply with me. They revived and redefined my relationship with Christ, and helped heal parts of my heart that were broken. They are powerful, and I think every Christian should read them. The Sacred Romance discusses God's epic love story, and our place in it. Captivating explores and explains the depths of a woman's heart. The book for men is called Wild at Heart. If you only buy one thing here, I pray it is one of these.
The Five Love Languages
Dr. Gary Chapmann
Work smarter, not harder at loving those around you. Understanding your love language, and the love language of your spouse is key to a long and happy marriage! Simple and straightforward, these practical concepts can transform your marriage. This book should be on every married couple's bookshelf, and is JUST as useful for those who are single or dating. (If it doesn't look quite like your cup of tea, I recommend checking out The 5 Love languages for Singles.)
The Seven Principles For Marking Marriage Work
John Gottman, PhD.
Perhaps my ALL-TIME favorite marriage researcher, John Gottman is the reigning expert in his field. During his 1992 study (Buehlman, K., Gottman, J.M., & Katz, L.) Gottman predicted with 93.6% accuracy which couples would divorce. His knowledge on what strengthens and weakens the marriage relationship has shaped the field of relationship research. If you're looking for resources to make your marriage last a lifetime, this book gets my highest recommendation.
The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly
Another relationship researcher I "fan-girl" over, Brene Brown was propelled to fame after her research was featured at a Ted Talk. Since then, her work on shame, vulnerability, and connection has inspired thousands. Her basic premise: Courageous vulnerability is the only antidote to shame, and is the only source of true connection, joy, and fulfillment. If you want to feel inspired and challenged to stop holding back in your relationships - these books are for you! I can't get enough of her work, and am borderline obsessed with her research. She speaks truth in a profound, engaging, and humorous way.
Love & Respect
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
When I started this blog my mom wanted to make SURE I advocated for the use of this book in all marriages. Although it's still on the "to read" section of my bookshelf, I can't wait! This book has saved marriages and brought hundreds of couples closer together based on the simple premise that women crave love while men crave respect in their marriages. This book has truly been a sensation, and is highly regarded for it's ability to revitalize marriages on the brink of disaster. I can't wait to read it, and I'd love to read it alongside you!
Financial Peace University
It's a known fact that finances can be one of the greatest sources of conflict in a marriage. But it doesn't have to be that way! In this program, Dave Ramsey teaches Biblical principles for finance with a step-by-step, easy to follow process (seriously- so easy!) that will leave you richer, and your marriage stronger and more unified. Yes, it's an investment, but the knowledge is SO valuable - whether you're single or married. This package also includes a year long subscription to Every Dollar Plus, a great budgeting app (normally $99).
(I looked for the cheapest price for you on Amazon, and I've linked it here!)